Often, when we are on a Spiritual Journey and far too open and trusting, we are prey to those with their own agendas, with unscrupulous intentions or just larpers getting a laugh from stalking and harassing unsuspecting fools.

And, when we realize that (once again) we have been *had* by our own naivete n unbridled generosity to people who don’t deserve it and demonstrate repeatedly they have no respect or appreciation for us, it cuts deep.

Sometimes, the betrayals, added up and the pain of neglect and being used by so many people you believed in and trusted is so painful that it is hard to catch our breath, much less do much  of anything productive.

I’ve spent the last year in an imaginary land, believing in a  fairy tale like the Little Match Girl. The wake-up call I just received really knocked me for a loop, and the depth of this heartbreak has caused me to reassess how I am using the remaining time I have left on this poor, bedraggled planet.

It appears I’m back in the *wrong time /wrong place* department again (again), as the returns on this path – teaching, coding, helping the Nations, I have tried to make since 2017 are non-existent. Any effort I have made since 2018 – actually, since about 2005 – has been stymied, kneecapped, knocked off course or has turned out to be a lark. Just another flash in the pan.

The *leaders* turned out to not be there at all, and once again – I was left abandoned, in the middle of nowhere with not one soul except some fantastic workies on the trail willing to help me. The *friends* and *family* I believed I had cultivated, and have worked my ass off to help and connect with since 2016 were nowhere to be seen.

Not one soul has put in as much effort on my behalf – or that of my work as I have for all of the folks featured in the KPs. The imbalance is blinding.

So – there is no more music. No more words or stories or tales to tell.

The Totems are here for the most part, and the ones that aren’t didn’t bother to show up.

Thank you all for sharing the past few years with me.

It has been an honour to be your messenger.